I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
