Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
