Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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