That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Randomize
