I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Randomize
