it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
