she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
