Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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