Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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