i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
