i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
