You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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