well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Randomize
