just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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