I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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