I think I just saw someone hide a body.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
