Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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