He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize