we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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