Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize