She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize
