Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
