they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
