i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
