Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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