I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!