$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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