You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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