matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
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I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
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Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail