True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
