she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Come on in and take your pants off
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