the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
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I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
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The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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