im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize
