Those balls look pretty dangerous.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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