Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
