just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
