currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
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