Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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