How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
i will never coherently bang her
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
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