Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
