the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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