Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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