You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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