me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
