sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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