Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
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