Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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