Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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