WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
