i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
