i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
