I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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