Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i walk over a car last night?
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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