ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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