We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I have fence marks all over my body
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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