Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
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