her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
