just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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