Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
