THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
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