I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
