Is it because I queefed?
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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