i just had sex bonerless
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
