No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
