I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
she pinky promised me she was 18
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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