i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
